I can’t wait to talk about the “hornets”….BUT…until today I have been crabby, irritable, and just an all around “downer.
It is my ridiculous, annoying, “needs-to-go-away” PTSD again (triggered by what happened in my last post AND the dang hornets….
Today was finally better so I am sure I will feel like spilling my words here soon 🙂Â
All my love…
Andrea
There was a shark, a gar, and a behemoth in the water…Unbelievable!!!!
It started out as a nice afternoon alongside “Lake Monroe”.Â
Unfortunately, we had settled on an exceptionally rocky part of the lake (big, huge mistake). The rocks were HOT and SHARP..
But…heck…we were settled in before we realized just how rocky the whole place was. And, holla to the parents out there who know the pain of setting up coolers, towels, rafts, frisbees, cups, drinks, lawn chairs, big umbrellas, e.t.c., Â you just don’t want to pick it all up and resettle.Â
Sorta like the pioneers… we just “settled” 😉Â
BUT.
THEN…
There’s SUDDEN screaming…not just “screaming” but “real, I’m hurt, not playing around SCREAM”.
It is my nephew (age 7) who is screaming…He and Zane were playing by a boat dock (with permission).
Seth is just SCREAMING!Â
I start RUNNING from our ‘spot’…YES…over the “hot as lava” and ‘sharp as razor’ rocks but who cares!Â
My brother-in-law is trying to get to Seth but he’s pretty far out in the water and … well .. ya know … it’s hard to move fast in water that hits you at your thigh. (shallow lake I find out)
So…I was running TOWARDS the “danger”. Thumbs up for me! Gold Star! I’m the “Weekly Winner”! Â I did not FREEZE!
(afterwards me and my PTSD had a sweet conversation. I told it I was proud for letting me run to HELP someone and not run away with my tail between my legs the other way. I think it means something that I could run towards my nephew and not just point and scream for David to hurry….  Score?  Andrea: 1  PTSD: 0  -at least for that day 😉
Okay…So while I’m running over the rocks, hearing his scream my ‘rush to extremes’ brain is kinda going a bit nuts…but it’s also all true (scary, eh?!)
(no Gars in this lake Andrea, I knew this. Forgot.)
 (under water? No more movies for you, ever.) Â
As a result of the ABOVE (scary eek holy heck thoughts)…
I am in full mode….. GO!!!! Get Seth now before the shark, or the gar, or the behemoth gets us ALL!Â
So….I’m over the “hot as lava” and “sharp as razors” rocks and….(yes, big gash on my foot. I lived.)
I run into the water.
The lake water is muddy, etc.Â
I am a HORRID judge of anything that is non-fashion-oriented.Â
Truly.Â
Can’t measure distance, nuances, height, time, calories, friendships…nada.Â
Now, if we are talking about a pair of “Jimmy Choo” shoes…well girls…I got all the time in the world to measure those.Â
I’m digressing aren’t I? Â okay.
I THINK I’ve run MORE than far enough into the water to take a swan dive into the water..
 (like the movies ya know…”Baywatch” and all..yeah, like that…)Â
…to REALLY get to my nephew, who is still screaming a murderous scream and NOW to Aven who is nearby and SHE is now SCREAMING ..and dive..FAST. Must. Get. There. Fast.
I dive.
OUCH!!!!!
MY UTERUS! Â Â PELVIS! Â Â COLON! Â LOWER INTESTINES!Â
OUCH!!!!!!
My beautiful, “Baywatch” swan dive turned into a SPLAT upon a POINT, MEAN BOULDER!!!Â
(okay. rock. but it was HUGE. And I have witnesses who witnessed the huge status of the horrid, mean, ugly, devastating, hell-bound rock)
Now I am thinking…
“HOW am I going to save Seth and NOW possibly AVEN FROM A SHARK if I am bleeding INTERNALLY?Â
Will my arms still work or do I only have a limited amount of time before they droop? Dang I have to hurry. Dang my intestines hurt.”
So. I swim…somehow…with a broken uterus, pelvis, colon, and lower intestines.
I GET TO SETH! (phew, are you as glad as I am about that right now? I’m exhausted from reading all this.)
His beautiful brown eyes are TERRIFIED.
I put on my “ADULT” act    (totally faking cuz I’m sure it is a shark and we are all about to die together…myself, Aven, and Seth….)   and tell Seth..
“IT IS OKAY! IT IS OKAY! Tell me what hurts”Â
He says, [I swear upon a pumpkin I am NOT making this -or any of it- up] “THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY FOOT!”
THE INSTANT HE SAID THAT I THOUGHT “Yep, I was right! We are going to die. It’s a shark’s mouth. Or a Gar. Or a behemoth. It’s in his foot. I knew it. I’m sure it’s huge. We are goners.”
I knew we were in our last minutes because I knew I did not have the life skills to pull a kid’s foot out of a shark/gar/behemoth’s mouth.
 Nope. I was sure I did not.
They DO NOT TEACH THAT IN SCHOOL!Â
“How To Pull A Child’s Foot Out of Shark/Gar/Behemoth’s Mouth 101” Â and what would be “201”? Â A Whale’s mouth?
The shark will probably pull away..taking Seth’s foot I’m thinking? And at least he’d have his leg? What does one do in these situations?Â
Meanwhile, Aven is still screaming which is REALLY throwing me for a loop. I am trying to decide to keep Seth’s foot and leg attached or not and she’s hollering?Â
I’m sure the shark/gar/behemoth does not have her because Seth JUST told me something was in HIS foot.
Now, please, like there would be TWO shark/gar/behemoths in ONE location? Maybe ONE LAKE..but..statistically for more than one to be at the boat dock. That’s just crazy talk.
I assumed the shark would be WAY to interested in Seth to notice Aven’s cute little toes…she really needed to tone it down.
I decided that a leg without a foot is better than many of the alternatives that were going through my head…He finally reached out for me and I reached his arms and…..
I. PULLED!
And he came right to me??Â
What?Â
Where’s the shark/gar/behemoth fighting me for Seth’s leg? Â (dang my colon hurts I am still thinking)
Seth is crying, sobbing, “My toe! There’s something there!”
I take a deep adult-breath and held him in my arms like a baby (we were in water up to my chest or so?) and I look.
IT IS A HUGE FISH HOOK. Â huge phew. huge sigh.Â
BUT…WOW…that has to hurt! I am SURE he thought it was a shark too! Â (or a gar or a behemoth.)
With one SWIFT move I got an ancient hook outta the boy’s toe and handed him off to his Dad and then I got Aven away from that area with Indy Race Car speed.Â
Also, partially because I still wasn’t sure there was no shark, gar, or behemoth circling about us…AND…I was sure my colon was bleeding out my ears and I surely needed immediate medical attention from my failed “Baywatch” dive.
We all regrouped at the rocky ‘spot’ and collectively stared at each other for a bit.Â
Personally, I was thinking that Seth has QUITE an impressive scream. This thought I had whilst squeezing my lower torso together, just to reduce any unseen gashes or perforations the pointy, hell-bound boulder/rock caused.
We all took some deep breaths, inspected the ((**$%&) hook that had invaded Seth’s toe and I was stared at to see if I was going to melt into a PTSD lump or bleed out. Â
Phew. And we were there for what? Â fun? that didn’t work out now did it?
That is some SERIOUS “lazy afternoon on the lake drama” (especially if you include the drama inside my head!)
BUT….Just so you don’t worry….
Turns out that all of my internal organs were actually, shockingly, right where they were supposed to be.Â
We surmised this as I did not keel over and die after being stared at for a bit.Â
Additionally, after about an hour of my continued living, we decided to forget that my uterus almost came out of my elbow.
AND…(truly…) Â AND……(but you have wait…sorry! I’m TIRED!)
Would you believe there is even MORE (lots more) DRAMA to this apparently Titantic-like afternoon at the lake??? Â THERE IS.Â
Think HORNETS.
I will tell you ALL about that drama next time….because, right now, I feel the need to meditate, pray, hide, run away from gars, research if behemoths still survive…
…..and schedule an appointment with my doctor as every time I move my elbow hurts? Like there’s fluid in there or something?
Phew.
Andrea….
PS OBVIOUSLY this entire event just poured into my PTSD like a river.Â
After it was all said and done, I had to take some time and get myself settled, etc.Â
Writing about it from a humorous (and true as to what was inside my head! so weird 😉 standpoint helps me a lot. Just writing helps!
It helps me to ‘categorize’ the moments better rather than the entire event staying clumped up as “scary” inside my mind – which is one of the foundations of PTSD. ” Not being able to categorize.” Shark/Gar/Behemoth is an example of not being able to categorize in the moment even. (yep..working on that. eyeroll)
Not categorizing…The inability to “move on”; “find closure from a traumatic event”…. all these lead to a person with PTSD, who is not learning coping mechanisms and/or medicines, to put all major or even minor sudden, surprise, unusual events into one, scared area of their thoughts and actions.Â
All that being said…back to it is a lot more fun to write posts like this than my last post. BUT…both types help me...and I REALLY hope someone got a giggle from this one.Â
I was laughing out loud as I wrote it because I couldn’t believe I actually thought all of those things…and I didn’t remember thinking all of them until I sat down to “dissect” my memory while I wrote. Â
Life’s interesting…..
& Come on in and tell me what ya thought…Click “View Comments”!
Why the hey am I so angry?? Get a grip. (I sorta did so now I can talk about it) So Odd.
You are thinking….
“Andrea, it probably wasn’t all THAT unhealthy to feel such sad – anger last week. For the love of pete, give yourself a break. Why didn’t you last week?Â
“Will this event draw you out long term?”Â
Especially those that don’t have it…..need it desperately.

others’ adoption blogs
i feel all warm and cozy and ‘awe’ they must e good pople..etc i never have those thoughts abt our family or my kids is it sign of adoption lines fading? simple famiiarity with eachh hother at work?
who am i down o base eleveel
why do i have tats
why do i dress
why do i put life on line
She SCREAMS "What for me Momma…." then tries to RUN down the stairs cuz.."I WANNA SEE MOMMA! Please WAIT!" .
The benefits of being SELF-EMPLOYED via INTERNET & HOMESCHOOLING?
You can decide Monday…..
…. to leave for another quick couple of days at the beach 😉
AND….for the first time EVER….
Drum Roll PLEASE :))
Â
 NO..Really…DRUM roll please!! 😉
I have told all 4 boys to PACK FOR THEMSELVES.
GASP.
And…now…SUPER GASP….the girl wants to too.
My inner-massive control freak can ONLY think of the ‘ruined’ photographs.
Because, surely, the boys will, accidentally, grab out of the “to be given to friends with younger kids” bin of clothing.
Thus….our photographs will have LOTS of ARM and LEG and very little COTTON.
BUT.
DEEP BREATH in.
I can do this.
I mean…Right? This is SO NOTHING in the scheme of the world issues. NOTHING.Â
It is HIGHLY doubtful that this -shocking- development of horrid photographs will even be picked up by the AP newswire.Â
Surely, the other large media outlets will look the other way.
They will understand that “kids will be kids” and the then resulting pictures… YES?!!
National news outlets are renowned for extending grace where grace is do…
And, I can HARDLY expect that Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge…
(dang..is she or is she NOT preggers? I can barely take the suspense)Â
…..will be bothered by the pictures in the “The Mirror” newspaper when she sees my kids’ over-abundance of legs/arms versus clothing.Â
Once she’s a Mom, she might understand. (And, again, WHEN will she be a Mom? We should call the Queen. I mean…this is getting crazy.)
Maybe I should write Kate a letter? hm.
Well…
All this is to say…
YAY for vacay!
But please excuse the, potentially world-stopping, onslaught of pictures that may appear here.
Allowing my Crew to pack for themselves was SUPPOSED to help me and my PTSD symptoms..but..well…I’m not so sure that worked 😉
If you feel the need to cover your eyes or report us to “E” Entertainment News as a “What Were They Thinking” photo submission…I would humbly accept this decision.
I AM GOING IN THERE RIGHT NOW AND CHECKING THEIR DANG SUITCASES