What happened? I was just trying to introduce Aven to ya’ll!
After this video revealed Aven’s kinda ‘shallow’ thoughts on “be pretty to be loved”…
I whipped out a few episodes of “Toddlers & Tiaras” and we had a good ol’ “Momma – Daughter Pow-Wow” about WHAT makes a person truly beautiful and lovable.
Yes, initially, Aven was enamored with the “huge tiara’s” on the show…heck…so was I when I first saw the show! *smile*
[if you are not familiar with the show, it is a documentary of sorts of families…mostly Moms & Daughters…who are competing in little girl beauty pageants…and the show captures the pretty icky moments between the families…can we say “Stage Mom”!]
But….then Aven saw the tantrums, the rude words, the disrespect coming out of the mouths of little girls her age and even older.
Girls all “glammed” up … but ACTING “ugly”.
It was a good teachable moment about what REALLY makes a person beautiful and what we should appreciate in other people…not anything near just how they ‘look’.
Phew. I didn’t know all that was rollin’ around in that 4 yr old head of hers. This whole “video blogging” may bring ALL kinds of stuff out!
Maybe Jim and I are feeding the perceptions in her head a bit.
We do “make over her alot” [she’s the only girl..I mean…really…it didn’t ‘seem’ off-base] ….
…..but I think we will take a more well-rounded approach to how she, our precious daughter, is beautiful…not just her outward appearance but also how her ‘insides’ look ….
DO you think westernized toddlers are made to ‘grow up’ to fast…IE nail polish, ‘pretend makeup’, ‘dress up dresses’ everywhere, Disney Princesses as icons of our society…thoughts?
Just figured out that the ‘input’ volume level on my computer was set to ‘low’. So, videos, from now on, should be easier to hear 🙂 Cuz I know you were all OH SO worried about that.
10 thoughts on “Um. Houston. We have a Problem. (Aven is biased about ‘pretty’). HELP.”
MY answer to MY question:
Simple as that. I think we’ve over-stimulated Aven’s “inner-princess” but it was vastly innocent.
She is OUR Princess but she must,soon, recognize that the rest of the world does not think she is the coolest thing since Hazelnut coffee creamer :)))
OTHERWISE…we are -truly- setting her up for a massive moment of dissapointment.
This was not so hard with the boys. The boys gravitate towards less “showy” things…keeping them aware that they did not nor do not ‘rule the world’ hasn’t seemed that hard.
Yet again, I say that I would take THREE more BOYS…over ONE more girl 😉
I have only commented a couple of times ever but here are my thoughts.
My husband and I have 4 children; 3 boys and our daughter is the baby of the family. I agree moderation is important and it is easy to play into a little girls desire (ok my desire) to be a “princess”. I am learning from my husband. From the time she was born he has told how pretty she is and how much he loves her, but that pretty is not important- the most important thing is loving God and serving Him. To this day the have a little conversation that goes like this
Daddy: Alyssa you are so pretty
Alyssa : thanks daddy
D: is being pretty important?
A: no daddy
D: what is important?
A: loving God and serving Him
I love this so much because she is hearing from the most important man in her life that she is pretty but he is teaching her that true beauty isn’t external.
Oh and I am with you give me boys! I love my daughter to pieces but I thank God everyday that He only gave one girl!
Love your blog!
LOVED IT!!!! Your love for your daughter shines through
THANKS for commenting…super input!!!!! Implementing asap 🙂
Kylie…smile. (heart you)
Oh that is a great video…very funny…like your little behind the scenes faces there Andrea:) Aven is growing up so much its great to actually hear her:)
And I think in answer to your question as you say moderation and I like Linda’s answer too. SO much pressure on girls I think these days with all the stuff we have to offer them. I think to start them young knowing what true beauty is will hopefully carry them through as they grow up and hit teenage years!
I think you should shave your head!
Love that I can hear you now 🙂 the videos are great. I have 4 boys and 1 girl – I know how easy it is to dote on the princess! *I* was the little girl who was always told I was pretty and when I was Aven’s age my g’ma introduced me to someone and he had the gall not to mention my beauty (she told him beforehand NOT to bc I had a big head!) At 4ish I had NEVER met someone who did not comment on my looks ~ but I grew to know that true beauty is from within and Aven will learn that too. Jessie in LA (SL)
Jessie! SUCH encouraging news!
Honestly, I have been working with her on this everyday since I ‘discovered’ this glitch and..well..she’s not gettin’ it! ha
I know it is her age. When i ask her very literal questions like “Which feels prettier, ugly or nice?” She answers correctly…but I want her to value inner-beauty more than outer.
Thanks for your words…gorgeous! teehee
Lisa – only after you darling 🙂
Anna – i luv ya so !
Put your wedding dress on and then scream at all of them and ask her if she thinks your pretty! LOL…jk!
I don’t think she can have parents like you guys and turn out rotten and self-centered. I think in time it will all level out. She just has to get a wider understanding of “pretty.” But, on the other hand, I do thing it is important to teach her how to take care of her outer self because it is the FIRST impression. It does matter to an extend and quite frankly, I think the women who look frumpy don’t shout a very good picture of the majesty of their Savior. It does affect people. So…you are right on…moderation and consistent teaching that beauty is outward and inward. We will never be perfect in either, but we should glorify God in both. She’s precious…and I loved watching her.
I find it very sad and upsetting that in this day and age a girl/woman has this view of what she should look like based on magazines and movies and tv. I should start a magazine where NO MAKEUP, fancy clothes, done up nails, jewels are ALLOWED. You must have at least 19% body fat to model in the magazine. You must have CURVES! I cannot stand Toddlers and Tiaras. I am sorry but those moms and DADS who allow plucking, waxing, teeth implants, TANNING for children as young as 4 should be investigated! They are KIDS! Those little girls are walking around with Pacifiers in their mouths while waiting on a SPRAY TAN! Really? Moderation…they don’t know the meaning. But normal moderation in normal circumstances..YES. I am all for letting a little girl play dress up and painting the nails and playing in moms makeup. But those shows go TOO Far. Little girls need to be little girls. They need to know that BEAUTY and perfect skin and teeth and hair and nails is NOT normal. They dont need all that to be loved or accepted. And quite frankly its not teaching them morals or values. Let a little kid be a little kid. Teach them the REAL values of life. God doesn’t care how many tiara’s you have. He doesn’t care about the look of your skin. It’s just so sad. Ok..off my soapbox.