You are thinking….
“Andrea, it probably wasn’t all THAT unhealthy to feel such sad – anger last week. For the love of pete, give yourself a break. Why didn’t you last week?
“Will this event draw you out long term?”
You are thinking….
“Andrea, it probably wasn’t all THAT unhealthy to feel such sad – anger last week. For the love of pete, give yourself a break. Why didn’t you last week?
“Will this event draw you out long term?”
I throw my husband a massive high-five and then jump and scream with crazy that my kids have him.
I find myself hard-pressed to think of anything better for my kids than their Dad…..
I am so daggone, up-a-tree thankful for Jim…, the Dad who loves, educates, protects, provides, disciplines, plays, leads, wrestles, jokes, races, challenges, and adores our 5 God-handed kids.
How desperately kids instinctually yearn for a strong, Father figure. I’m thinking of those kids without families…maybe in orphanages …. without a Poppa …. to lead them.
And, yet again, I think God for HIS Fathering and that He can step in where others have stepped out.
But, again, Jim….thanks for stepping in my love … Life’s okay as long as you’ve got our compass.
So…let’s take a glimpse into how you discipline, educate, disciple, and lead our kidz …. wink….
….but….
(I know…I posted last week..and it was sorta an epic post…but..I miss you people 🙂
I just could not take it anymore !!
The caked-on-the-side-of-the-bird-cage bird excrement.
The residue of old or uneaten bird food reeking of being old or uneaten.
The colonies of fruit flies residing in, around, above, below, to the side, diagonally, and within the bird cage.
The perches being coated with…yep…more bird exrement.
So.
Well.
I did EXACTLY WHAT [stupid] “google” told me NOT to do.
(chewing fingernails, looking sideways, knees knocking, goosebumps on back of my neck…)
I….
I…..
(if you are a MAJOR lover of birds….you should just stop reading. Seriously. I want you to still like me. So. Go back to Facebook. Go back to surfing for another goofy blog…Just..well..RUN!)
I…..
I….
[gasp…big breath..wait..choke..cough..cough…one cannot ‘gasp’ AND take a ‘big breath’ at the same time… cough..hack…sheesh..]
CLEANED.
YES! THERE! I said it.
I DISTURBED THE LOVEBIRD’s FIVE GLORIOUS EGGS.
BUT..But…..
I just couldn’t take it.
I.
I.
I.
Well…the dang bird were not even supposed to lay so many eggs. I have NO clue how they are going to keep five eggs warm AND alive in this house….
and…
I NEEDED…LIKED….NEEDED the cage to be clean.
OH. WAIT.
Did I mention the lovebird cage is in our bedroom?
Yeah.
Seemed so romantic.
Symbolic.
Two birds…mated for life…
Jim and I …. married forever…..
But.
Well.
I might have ruined that entire “mental picture” I had going…cuz now, apparently I’ve caused stress to the birds (a vacuum hose in the cage is NOT THAT LOUD birds….come on! )..
Who knows if we will have baby lovebirds or not ….
but…
I no longer have fruit flies, decaying birdfood, or dried poop in a birdcage in MY room.
I am chosing to be okay with that and if something happens to the eggs…the vacuum hose cleaning the inside of the cage is OUR LITTLE SECRET PEOPLE! SHUSH!
My kids do NOT need to know of my minor “bird gestation” infraction.
*wink*
Andrea
Our Chase.
My Sunshine.
Jim’s “Orange Pumpkin”.
Aven’s “Squeezy”.
Tye’s Protector.
Zane’s Idol.
Trey’s Best Friend.
Irina’s son.
Max’s son.
An entire family’s son that they do not have the honor to encounter day-to-day. Who know Chase was happily adopted at age 14 mos, from the orphanage where he was taken after being in the hospital for 3 mos. after his birth. He was in a rural Russian hospital for those 3 mos due to prematurity, bronchitis, and failure to thrive.
A family, a Mom, that was in desperate need and left her son in the care of the nurses.
I have always tried to paint a mental picture of her having/chosing to walk away from her son… I will never get it pictured properly but I honor her for that long walk…where she left part of her heart behind.
BUT! Now, Irina knows Chase IS THRIVING.
We hired a private investigator to find Chase’s birthparents 3 years ago. It took over a year. Record-keeping is not the same there as in our very organized nation.
But. Now she KNOWS. She has pictures. She has video. She has information on his interests, his talents, his love of Jesus.
Every one of Chase’s birthdays makes me feel, truly, connected to Irina.
To a woman that lives on a different continent, whose daily life is vastly different than mine, who lives in a different culture that is steeped in deep, deep history whereas I live in a relatively new nation that is still establishing and finding our balance.
I live in complete freedom, whereas Irina lives within a system of “supposed” freedom but one that is not practiced in actuality.
You are wondering if Chase minds if I talk to you all about his heritage.
No. Not at all.
He is proud of being adopted. He understands, to the extent a 15 yr old can (which is pretty deep), what Irina did for him and why….
He talks openly about “Miss Irina”, “Mr. Max”, and considers adoption as just one way God can construct a family.
I asked him, on the the 31st (his birthday), if he was thinking of Miss Irina.
He looked at me…sorta sheepishly…and said, “Not really Mom. Is that bad?”
My response, knowing he is 15 yrs old and thinks about video games more than food, said,”No babe. But I am and I wanted to remind you of how much I love her and am grateful to her because without her I would not have you.”
“You are right Mom.” …. and he’s back to doing whatever it was he was doing before I asked him 😉 Yep. He’s a teenager.
But, our goal has always been to keep his adoption (all the adoptions) an open topic. As easy to bring up as a “What’s for dinner” type question.
At this point, we see it playing out in all three of our kiddos who were brought to us via the journey of adoption. And within our ‘homemade’ kiddos. They have questions too.
We welcome any and all types of questions in regards to the adoption journeys we’ve traveled – first as just “Jim & Andre” and then it was “Jim, Andrea, Chase, Trey, and Zane” to get Tye home from China. And, finally (so far ;), it was “Jim, Andrea, Chase, Trey, Zane, and Tye” to get Aven home from Guatemala. It’s been a group effort 🙂
It is a beautiful thing. It allows a child to see a bigger world. A world where love abounds….a world where Moms and Dads go to extraordinary lengths to keep their children safe, fed, to be given opportunity, education, and to be so amazingly self-less as to allow someone else to raise their child.
I am daily amazed by you, my Chaser-Bean.
You can be discouraged and confused one minute and laughing hysterically shortly thereafter. You bounce back from setbacks or bad days unlike anyone else I have ever met.
I want your perseverance. I want that gigantic smile that you just cannot hold back.
Most of all, my son, I just want you. And, thanks to Miss Irina and Mr. Max….I have my wish.
I have you … a son that is independently focused on growing his relationship with God, who knows he struggles with Fetal Alcohol Effect but does not use it as an excuse for bad behavior or to not conquer something that is very hard for you (math!!). And you have found your God-Given talents and RAN with them! (music is one of ’em!)
Tears are rolling down my face as I picture God forming you within the womb, giving you an extra dose of perseverance (because He knew you’d need it)..
…wiring your brain with the ability to heal and conquer FAE..
…piecing your heart together but apparently using larger than normal components because your heart, Chase, it fills a room within seconds….
God giving you a craving that is unlike others…a craving to be generous beyond your years – How many times have you asked me, “Need anything Mom?”, “You doin’ okay Mom?”…… God has never created another one like you my love.
It would be impossible to for there ever to be another “you”.
You are a young man that has fought, (even if we were dragging you through the fight sometimes….years 6-9 come to mind :) to become who YOU want to be…not who we are telling you to be, not who friends are telling you to be, but who YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE.
I am amazed…my son…Irina’s son…God’s son….
Amazed at you and you, without any doubt, have made our entire family something that it could never have been without YOU.
When they handed you to me in a freezing, colorless orphanage in Rostov, Russia on January 17th, 1998… I knew I was holding an angel…My soul felt your angelic spirit the instant I touched you…I felt that, somehow, I had your birthmomma’s permission to take you into the folds of my arms, into the deepest places of my heart and to keep you safe, loved, and nurtured.
It turns out…. that Irina knew you were an angel too and wanted to let you soar.
You are soaring our Angel….. Beyond ALL expectations my… I mean OUR son ….. SOARING.
WE, Miss Irina, Mr. Max, Mom, Dad, your brothers, and your sister, … we love you and please use that love to change the world Angel.
With ALL of our LOVE….
Your Momma….and, by proxy, Miss Irina.
Enjoying the progress of their developing talents. Helping me realize that this little pity-party is unnecessary as I am about one of the most blessed people I know.
It’s been SUCH a weird, whacked, thrilling, exhausting, and just different last several days.
We’ve been anticipating the actual “launch” of my husband’s new book….and it was YESTERDAY!
Jim is pretty fabulous at not getting his hopes to high….but I’m not 🙂
So, the better and better the day went in regards to the “launch” the more surreal, happy, and odd the day seemed.
We are SO thankful that this opportunity came his way. It was a challenge though…he had deadlines, editors, interviews, etc….during the last year while I have continued to have both good and bad days in regards to my (stupid) PTSD.
This book is ‘just paper and words’ to some…but …. between the two of us …. it is a symbol of perseverance, God’s Providence, and of our commitment to each other to fight through the hard times…even if they are really, really, really hard some days.
So…that was all odd yet happy.
Now, I think I’ll let some pictures speak a bit now in regards to why the last few days have also been…well…kinda like our normal crazy but more ‘intense’ for some reason…
Somebody tell me these pictures aren’t just a LITTLE crazy!
For heaven’s sake…little girl that hoards, little boy that adores marsupials …. reptiles ….
When I look at the pictures on my camera sometimes I, literally, laugh at loud at US. We just are not very normal 🙂
I’ve come to terms with it. But I will NEVER come to terms with holding a sugar glider on my arm…….ever. I try. I try. But nope. It’s not in this city girl to have a mini-demonic animal crawling all over her.
Though Zane seems to have no problem with it. These dang Sugar Gliders…they can sense my fear! 🙂
We added a “eye-lash crested gecko” to Zane’s collection..cuz..ya know..the boy doesn’t have enough animals 🙂
It was actually an award for doing something he was terrified of (competing at the Tae Kwon Do Tournament last weekened)
We never, and I really mean never, “bribe” our kids for good behavior … such as “Johnny, if you are good at the grocery store you can have a sucker.”
However, we DO reward for achieving LIFE SKILLS.
Now, if Johnny REALLY has issues (like Tye used too) about not screaming, thrashing, and yelling for help in public (smile) then we would tell him, “Tye, if you act nice, do not scream, or hit, you can have a hot wheels car at the checkout lane” b/c for TYE that WAS achieving a life skill.
Anyways, “Mallie” came into our lives because it takes alot for a kid with Zane’s wiring (rather be behind the scenes like his Daddy kinda kid) to get up in front of hundreds of people, and his little friends, and attempt to break boards.
The deal was as long as he stepped foot onto the mat and acknowledged the judges, did his best, and walked off mat without running (smile) he’s get a new reptile.
The boy got THIRD in his age-bracket. I mighta been “played” but…I’m okay with that. It’s not the first time nor will it be the last.
We have had a kid or two say, “But MOM! Getting to the 432nd level of XYZ game on the PlayStaion IS a life skill! I deserve a new game.” Even I, the Momma who struggles with “NO”, can say “NUH-UH but thank you for trying honey” to that line!
And he/she/it leaps in little springy jumps that are pretty cute 🙂
As I mentioned, we had a pretty major Tae Kwon Do tournament this last weekend. “Major” because we only attend two or three, at most, a year.
This is a SUPERB opportunity for my home-schooled (ya know…unsocialized, weird, only happy with adults, can’t make eye contact, only wear hiking boots) kids to step up to the plate, of sorts, in a public fashion and “perform”.
It is a necessary life skill to be able to handle the stress of public speaking, etc. The tournaments give our (oh so odd) homeschooled kids a chance to hone this skill.
(ya’ll know I’m playin’ ya with the weirdo homeschool kid thang. It’s fun. I can get people all worked up 🙂
I always think they look so lonely out there all by themselves…wondering how they did…feet, arms, hands, etc hurts from whatever they just competed in!
When we found his birthmomma in Russia, in the letter she wrote him, she said “HE MUST be in SPORTS” …. She would be pleased because Chase excels in them.
So, You ask….where is TYE? He is in Tae Kwon Do (achieving new belts on a regular basis…booyah!!!)
Well….Tye has a bit..no…a large attitude the morning of the tournament. Attitude as in kicking, stomping, yelling, throwing…etc. (Parenting is SOOOOO fun, yeah?!)
Dad warned him, “Tye, if you do NOT stop yelling and kicking, you are NOT in the Tournament today.”
Now, I know Tye is all of ya’lls favorite cuz he has so many “difficulites” and cuz he’s stinkin’ cute….BUT..I PROMISE that Tye COMPLETELY understood Dad’s words. So…HERE is TYE at the TOURNAMENT …
My twinnie needed this “vintage” window pair turned into a table display for her and her husband’s fundraising needs. She wanted it to look like a ” really old Indian window” and then I put henna-ish designs on the corners. She’ll put picture of their work in the window panes, etc.
AMY actually PAINTED! That’s equivalent to me RUNNING (and not just after a good sale at the mall but actually running in running shoes outside in nature)
When your daughter says, “Momma, you need to paint while you wear a tiara” You ALWAYS say YES!
Maybe a perfect afternoon for me…painting with my kids 🙂 My sis was there too 🙂
The kids make “gift bags” …. we are going to work on spelling this year in school.
bwwwhahahahahaha