Pictures can be SO very misleading. Oh look – they are the PERFECT family. (um. NOT).



Is anyone else tired of seeing “perfect” on blogs, facebook status’, twitter?

Or in churches?? Or in how people talk about parenting?

I am.

Why do people think ‘being perfect” is so very  important?

Being “perfect is NOT fun. I should know because I thought being perfect was “IT” in my 20′s and into my early 30′s.  I, essentially, was a walking facade of sorts.

Sure, I had ‘moments’ of transparency now and then but, overall, I was not the real “Andrea” or maybe I didn’t know who she was. Regardless, I wanted to be “perfect”.


But…WOW…look at these “perfect family pictures”!

We appear to have it ALL together.

We appear to have no health issues, no confusion in parenting, we are ALL smiles, we look like we just IN LOVE with each other.

We, sorta [excuse me for a moment as I roll my eyes] ,  look “perfect”.

Dang Aren’t we amazing? There pictures demonstrate that. No faults, flaws, no major mental health issues, no massive medical bills, no extensive and long-tem extended family issues, no kids with puberty who may not live to see 18 (;)….

Nope. Perfect…Wanna see more ‘perfect’….

okay…here….

 Chase joined an “Ultimate Frisbee Club”….He is PERFECT at it! He scores every game and the coach is SO SO SO happy to have him on the team.
 (Aven’s first sleepover with her bestie, Tessa!) See it was PERFECT.
 These 2 girls are even SO bright. They are in honor class, colleges are already scouting them, and they taught themselves how to read. PERFECT!  :)


Do you get my point?

Pictures, conversations, even clothes people wear can be misleading. 
They can make the one observing them seem inadequate sometimes.

People can also feel exceptionally inadequate if they are talking to someone who seems to have it “all together’.

I am here to say: 
NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER!

NO One.

NAdA.

Nope. 

NO ONE!!

I do not care how much money you have, how many nannies you employ, how many best friends and support you have, nor how secure your job is….

We are ALL imperfect.

But…it is so much easier to hide behind the wall of “WHAT? Oh me? Oh I am absolutely great!!”
(I am not saying to not take great picture, have great conversation, where cute clothes…I am saying to not hide behind them. Be true to who you are and imperfections that you have.) 

Instead of, “Well, it’s been a rough season. I hope we come out of it soon.

Before I “found my transparency” would NEVER have said the latter statement.

NOW, I am the latter statement!

Let’s blow it idea of “perfection” out of our lives you guys…..

Let’s just be WHO WE ARE…which is messed up! 

Everyone is ‘messed up’ in one way or another…and if you are thinking, “No, I really have no area in my life that is ‘messed up’” then you just proved my point. 

We are creatures of imperfection. 

And it’s okay to say that….because we are ALL messed up. 
Promise.
Don’t let thoughts that play the “PERFECT GAME” get to you.
They are hiding thing – just like I used to do.
Transparency is freeing and easier!
Perfection IS EXHAUSTING!
I love you guys…
Andrea….
a completely imperfect to Wife, Momma, and everyone else
PS I wrote this REALLY fast b/c it has been in my head for awhile and just spilling out. If it doesn’t flow…..tell me ;)

4 thoughts on “Pictures can be SO very misleading. Oh look – they are the PERFECT family. (um. NOT).

  1. Ok so how do you get to the point of transparency? In my head I know that no one has it ALL together contrary to what their behavior or speech or attitude might portray. Yet there seems to always be this pressure to be perfect and people at large sorta expect you to not burden you with your problems…know what I mean? How do you be transparent without risking rejection from your peers/friends/family? I’d love to know because I for one can’t seem to keep a friend to save my life. Just wondering….

  2. I can give you my “definitions” of transparency or how I try to achieve it. ok? I do not know you specific info but hopefully something I muddle through right now will trigger an idea for you?

    Transparency – I do not hide my moods. If they are very bad ones, I keep myself from others (ha!) but tell those under my same roof that I am struggling and grouchy. If I am at “Target” and see a friend and they say, “So, how are things?” I do not respond with “fine” if they are not. I might say, “Dang, ya know it started out as an awesome week but plummeted yesterday. The kids were in crazy-mode and I wasn’t on top of things. But I’m thinking tomorrow will be better.”

    That response makes me sound real. kwim?

    I do not give the person the minutia of the ‘crazy kids’ issue b/c that’s not the point of her questions.

    I am upfront when I schedule things. I say, “I might not feel like a human that day. So please don’t be mad if I have to bail.”

    I am transparent with my kids in that when I mess up, I go back to them and apologize. Like looking into their eyes apologizing and then tell them I’ll work on that issue (whatever it was I did)

    I add humor to difficult subjects to breach them. That helps me get into a deep and transparent conversation with someone w/o them feeling attacked.

    I do not expect transparency from ‘acquaintances’ but really love it when close friends are transparent with me.

    I do not hound them or push them to transparency but some of my actions help them feel like being transparent (I think!)

    I am transparent with my outward appearance. I wear what I feel good in. It’s quirky. Sometimes horrible. But it’s a window into “me”.

    I’m sure there are plenty saying, “Can’t she just, for once, only wear 2 colors and not 12?” but…. it’s my transparency and it feels good.

    I parent with transparency. From being exceptionally honest with my kids to telling friends about difficult/embarrassing stuff my kid just did to telling people that we certainly are no where near having ‘it all together’ when they see a big family (cuz, ya know, big families are so much better than smaller ones…eyeroll)

    Ultimately, I am only responsible for MY transparency but want to encourage others b/c it is releasing.

    I think I could go to far if I continually told friend the finite details of my day or week or whatever…they would get overwhelmed and slowly walk away!

    that’s as best as I can do right now! I will give it additional thought or someone please add your own thoughts too ;)

    Andrea

  3. Amen! It’s actually been studied that Facebook makes people depressed because they think all those ‘perfect’ statuses are true and therefore the person who’s reading has an inferior, less ‘perfect’ life. That’s why I’m honest. Those who truly get it will stay in our lives even after we’ve revealed ourselves to be flawed humans. Amen Andrea. Amen

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